How to make your relationship survive long distance at uni
Vanessa Tobias
So I’ve taken to spreading my knowledge and advice to the dating world which realistically is a terrible idea considering I’m old as shit, single, and my last hot date was a beautiful Italian dinner with a tall dark and handsome boy. Ok well, I ordered pizza and drank cheap red wine while my 10-year-old black Labrador watched me and judged me on my poor life choices, but, you know, close enough.
Lucky for you I am super good at researching all the things and giving other people advice that I never take myself, because I’m well aware that in order to have a long relationship with someone other than my Netflix subscription I might have to actually leave my house and wear pants and I’m not ready for that sort of commitment. However, I did actually have a long-distance relationship in my uni days though – a successful one at that, which leads me to the point cos surprisingly I have one for once. Can a long distance relationship survive over the uni years?
Whether you’ve gotten into university yourself or your high school sweetheart has or you're both heading in different directions, I’m not gonna lie to you, you guys, it is gonna be a bumpy ride. It’s not gonna be easy, but no relationships are. But if you really do love and care for your partner you can actually make it work. Here are my best tips to survive a long distance relationship while you’re at uni.
Talk every day
With so many different apps to communicate through there’s no real reason you can’t talk to each other every day, all day if you really want to. If it was me, I ain't scared of the double text. Triple text. A whole novel text if I want, but even one message a day to let each other know you are thinking of them makes one helluva difference. Also schedule a call once a week via Skype or Facetime and always attend this call no matter what. If you start getting complacent with the call you might start getting complacent with the relationship, and nobody wants that.
Be proactive and mindful
Ok so the thing is if you’re heading out with your new found uni friends, slamming jager bombs chased by some hideous cheap wine, and then because you’re a millennial there’s a 105% (my statistics are always accurate FYI) chance you’ll be leaving evidence of your boozy night with photos and statuses all over your social media accounts. That’s all well and good but keep in mind photos of drunk you hanging off your new friends may have been completely innocent but that doesn't mean it looks that way, especially if your partner wasn't in the loop about your wild night out. Be proactive and let your partner know when you have plans like this and be mindful of how it might be perceived and you’re less likely to wake up to a shit storm.
Enjoy the benefits of it
WHAT? I hear you scream… benefits??? AM I CRAZY? Well yes, I am crazy, but that’s not the point. There are actually benefits to long distance relationships.
Firstly, it’s not just a saying. Distance does make the heart grow stronger, which is exactly why my relationship with Charlie Hunnam (Jax of sons of anarchy for all you uneducated swine) is going as strong it is and we are set for marriage and 2.5 kids and a dog named George, because dogs with human names are way cooler than something stupid like Whiskers or Lassie. Vomit.
Also, long distance relationships force you to be independent in the relationship, you have more time for study and your social life and when you do get to see each other, you make the most of your time together.
Know when to call it a day
In a perfect world, everything would always go to plan, and I’d live in a big beautiful house by the beach with 101 dalmatian puppies and 101 other puppies and maybe some cute kittens and let’s throw in some mini-goats for fun because those guys really bring the party (google them if you’re not convinced). And things like long distance relationships would work out if we really wanted them too. The reality is that sometimes even with the best intentions and even if we really want something we don’t always get what we want. Yes that's a song and you’re welcome for getting it stuck in your head.
Be honest with yourself and your partner if things have shifted because it may not be working anymore and that's fine too.
And don’t beat yourself up either, because at least you gave it your best, and that’s all you can really do.